Who is expendable?

I had an interesting conversation with my brother last night.  He's the one who self-identifies as an "Aspy" --- mind you, that's self diagnosis, not something formal.  But I do concur, that had he been born in the last decade instead of nearly 60 years ago, he might have been identified as having Aspbergers.  What he told me last night about his experiences in the school system enlightened me, and made me mourn for the person he might have been.  No matter how vehemently one believes that getting ahead in life is a function of the will and ambition and boot-strap effort, (as we hear so frequently in what passes for social/political debate) it's hard not to feel for the child who was a square peg trying valiantly to fit into a round hole.

School in the 1950s and 60s had not changed too much over several generations. There was a great emphasis on authority, predictability and conformity.  It did not feel oppressive, but it also didn't encourage or reward original thinking.  My objection was that the class moved too slowly, especially in reading.  I would read the entire year's reading book in the first week and be bored the rest of the year.  I was also given to correcting my teacher's spelling and grammar, the direct result of being my father's daughter. It wasn't well received.  But I was sociable and always had a circle of friends, so life was pretty good.

My brother, the only boy in the family, carried the burden of being very intelligent and creative, but always confused about human interaction.  He spent hours and days playing in his room, setting up elaborate worlds with toy soldiers, cardboard boxes and blankets.  He was comfortable enough in the family, but the outside world of school, Sunday school or community activities was very challenging.  He never knew how to fit in. Throughout those teen years, he was a loner, riding his bike, writing a novel, going to movies by himself.

I do remember how indignant I was when I was in fourth grade and he was in first, and his teacher would not allow him to write with his left hand, going so far as to immobilize it so that he wouldn't do that.  To this day, you can hardly read his writing.  Other teachers through the years, he told me last night, let him know in no uncertain terms, that not following the pacing guide, not staying with the class, stating his own ideas and questioning the material, would only result in punishment and bad grades.  At one point, he independently  finished the 8th grade math book so quickly that he simply stopped going to class and spent his time in the band room and theater instead.  He scored the 3rd highest grade on the final exam, but still flunked the course.  The next year he was put in remedial math.

OK, you say.  Now, we know better.  That was in the olden days.  It couldn't happen today because we have so much emphasis on individualization and differentiation.  And that's good, especially for the kids who fall behind or struggle to keep up.  But what is happening to our children whose minds don't follow the beaten path?  What about the young Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg?  Are we losing out on thousands and thousands of young people who are discouraged before they even get out of middle school, because they don't pass the bubble tests, they become convinced that there is something wrong with them, they don't have friends, they don't fit the mold?  How many people are we losing like my brother, who has continued to have a difficult time getting traction in life?

There is precious little attention paid to social and emotional intelligence, and when you combine that lack with the undervaluing of creativity and wide-ranging thought, the people we lose are legion.  We, as a society, can't afford that. We need them.  We need everyone.  If we are to survive and thrive, we can't afford to throw anyone away.