I used to spar with my brother-in-law. We couldn't have been much more different, except that we were both writers who swam in the water of words and ideas. I, a staunch if not militant atheist and iconoclast, who enjoyed a little bear-poking. He, a born and bred southern evangelical preacher, up and coming in the world of young clergy, with plenty of followers and fans. We traded books and kept it friendly though I harbored doubts about his sincerity and he, no doubt, about my sanity.
Along about 2012, we had a long-distance discussion by email. I was in Iowa with my mother, visiting relatives. We got a bit more biting than usual and I fired off a simple retort to something he said, something I don't remember now. All I said was "Kinder, Kirche, Kűche"
“NO!” he responded. Hitler and Nazi Germany were off-limits, beyond the pale. I was being hyperbolic and irresponsible to even suggest such a thing in regard to his chosen religious beliefs and politics.
It made me stop for a bit. Was I? The theocratic world created by Margaret Atwood in A Handmaid's Tale still haunted me nearly twenty years after I first read the book. I strongly felt that his brand of Christianity, along with the Republican party, was trending that direction. It didn't feel inconceivable to me.
We let it slide and never brought it up again, but every so often I found myself reflecting on that nascent fear which he had so cavalierly brushed away. Toward the end of his life, in the last lengthy conversation we had, he expressed his own doubts about the direction things were going, both politically and religiously.
He died suddenly and unexpectedly at the age of 49. I still miss talking with him. It was through those conversations that I got some insight into the mind of one who was committed, by default and by intellect, to ideas that were antithetical to my own. It was bracing and underlain with acceptance of each other as worthy humans.
I rather wish he were still around to see what's happening today. How would he respond to the pandemic? He had a good and loving heart, even though he was beset by fears and failings, as we all are. I know he would be horrified to see what has become of his Republican party as the DOJ officers are deployed to the streets of American cities, as leadership has failed to make any but the faintest attempts to rein in a plague that is killing thousands of citizens, and "freedom of religion" is employed to disparage and curtail civil rights.
I have been homebound now since March 16, as have so many other people. I read the news and try to maintain some sort of hope that life will become easier, something resembling normal once again. I have the sinking feeling that won't happen. I fear that we are closer than ever to the loss of democratic norms that we have taken for granted. The authoritarianism that seemed possible but unlikely in 2016 becomes more realistic every day.
I wish my dear, departed brother-in-law had been right.
Kinder. Kirche. Kűche
Beautifully written.
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