Today I went for what used to be my annual session in a longitudinal study on memory, health and aging at Duke. It had been 18 months since the last time because funding has run out. They scrounged up some bucks to do one last session but since science is no longer a priority in our society, I guess that's all she wrote. Who needs science when you got religion, right? Never mind that the baby boomers are going to start overwhelming the healthcare system in a big way in the next few years, and no small number of us will develop Alzheimers Disease or some other sort of dementia. No problem. No need for research.
Anyway, I've had the feeling that since I left the workforce a year ago, got good intervention and treatment for depression, and generally got a new lease on life, I've felt like some of my cognitive abilities have been returning. That is an enormous relief.
They do a pretty comprehensive evaluation for this study, including neurological, cognitive, memory and psycho-social. It's broken down into many different tasks that test specific parts of the brain and I'm usually there for about two and a half hours with the interviewer. I don't get actual results, but since I've done it several times and I am reasonably self-aware, I have my own measure of how easy or difficult the tasks are to perform. Today, I think I did them better than I ever did. I even asked him about that, because I wondered if it skews the results to be a repeater. That, apparently, is figured into the scoring. There is assumed to be some learning over time --- unless there's a problem.
When my father was diagnosed with AD in 1998, I started worrying about whether I would get it. When Mom was diagnosed in 2005, I pretty much threw in the towel. The strong possibility of developing dementia in my late 60s or early 70s has been part of all my decision making since. Participation in this study was one way of easing my mind, since I knew I was being tracked. Now, even with this avenue at a dead end, I'm still more reassured than I have been since it first came up.
Today I whizzed through listing animals and vegetables, came up with really great words, did better than before with numbers and using new strategies for the task, remembered details, copied figures ---- it was actually fun. And that's how it has felt in my daily life. I have more brain power available. I don't have to grope for words as much, I remember what I'm doing, where I put things. My writing is strong and flows easily.
Having Mom come to live with us has helped. Even though she has severe AD, living with it day in and day out has made me less afraid, rather than more. Seems strange, I know, but it's true.
If I'm going to get it, I'm going to get it. But for now, as was documented in my depression screening today, life is full and I feel mostly happy, content and fulfilled.
No comments:
Post a Comment