I wonder about subcultures

I wonder about subcultures.  I have recently "joined" two new ones --- retired people and dog people.  I'm still learning to read the signs, pick up the lingo and find my own place.


I think it must be a natural proclivity of humans to seek their own kind, however they define it.  It's so hard to relate to people in the aggregate, no matter how enlightened and in tune with the universe you may be.  I may love humanity, acknowledge my oneness with all living things, concern myself with social justice and equality for all, but it's really hard to call Everyone on the phone, or go out for coffee with all of humanity.


As you know, I'm a newcomer to the dog world.  I've had cats for 40 years, but only lived with a couple of dogs for very short times, and never really bonded.  Jill came furnished with a chain saw, a selection of ball caps, and 2 dogs.  I had none of the above.


Lucky Lu scared me, she was so ferociously territorial and protective of Jill.  Every time I saw the little red Kia drive up, there was Lucky in the front seat, and as surely as I would go over to say Hi, the dog would let me know the only thing between me and a trip to the ER was Jill --- and the closed window.  As I got to know her, I found out that she's actually a very sweet dog and many's the time she's let me use her warm back as a footrest. Torrie was much more laid back, but bouncy.  She jumped higher than I can reach every time I would open the back door.  She loved to curl up on the couch and have her head scratched, which was soothing for us both.  After some time, the dogs and I became accustomed to each other and reached a state of amicable coexistence.


Then along came Buddy.  He swept me off my feet, the little puppy with a huge appetite, unbridled enthusiasm for life, and boundless need for attention.  I found myself dropped into the world of dogs.  Suddenly, I saw dogs where I'd never noticed them before.  They're everywhere!  Besides having dog treats and poop bags in all my pockets, I started carrying a leash and water bowl in my car and, as often as not, when you see the silver rocket (HA! A Saturn Ion old people car) there's Buddy in the front seat, or with his head out the back window.  


People who have dogs, talk dog.  Breeds, age, rescue stories, vet stories, new puppy woes and memories of lost companions.  People who would never even meet, let alone talk, have conversations in the dog park.  You may not know the person's name, but you know the dog's name and you know how that dog interacts with your dog.  It's a world unto itself, and I never knew it existed.


This morning I met a young man, a seminary student, at the dog park with his newly rescued boxer.  First time out.  I felt like I was the old timer, showing him the ropes.  This is me now, guiding newcomers, talking dog talk, being sociable.  I wound up giving him the book I was reading because it wasn't really grabbing me, and I thought he would like it better.


Which made me think, a little later, about all the subcultures around me, and the unexpected places they overlap.  The book had turned out to be a little to Bible-y for me, as I explained to him.  I don't object to reading outside of my usual genres, but the references were so unfamiliar to me as to render it nearly incomprehensible.  It was like stumbling into a book about undersea diving or computer technology.  I figured he would get the inside jargon.


Do I meet a lot of seminarians in my daily life?  Not really.  How 'bout patently religious people, the kind who have that at the center of their existence and vocalize it frequently?  Not so much, though a certain amount of it is inevitable here in the South.  That's not a subculture I have selected myself into, so it's not a language I speak, it's not a worldview I share.


I do have membership in other subcultures.  Get a bunch of teachers together, and you won't get a word in edgewise, and probably won't understand half of what is said, anyway.  Oh, and don't come between teachers and their snacks! How about the lesbians?  Gay humor, among both the men and the women, is one of my favorite parts of that subculture.  It's the humor of self-deprecation and irony, recognition among the outliers.  


I've been in the Recovery subculture for 30+ years, another broad swath of the population, since addiction is "no respecter of persons" ---- that's one of those in-crowd phrases, instantly recognizable to the chosen.  The recovery community shares a large number of phrases and sayings, necessary in order to bring such a disparate group under the same umbrella.


I've been in and out of many others, as we all have.  I used to be a heavy drinker and partier, which is certainly its own subculture.  Political and religious liberal --- that's a big one.  There are smaller ones, too --- as a mom, I was on the crunchy granola, La Leche League end of the spectrum.  We had to band together for support.  Theater. Reader and writer. Overseas Brat. (overseas military dependent kids).  


I guess all of this is making me think about the polarization that looks as though it is tearing at the social and political fabric right now.  Unless you want to be metaphysical about it, nobody gets a choice about the culture they're born into.  We all have instant identifiers long before we walk out into the world.  But the interesting part is what we choose, once choice is available.  Who do we choose to share identity with?  And how strongly do we defend that identity?


There are seemingly a lot of people who identify everyone and everything with a political party.  (That's what I get from reading comments after news stories.)  The world is divided into them and us, good and bad, right and wrong, republican and democrat.  It's a strong identification that  looks as though it informs everything from beliefs about climate change, to what to have for dinner.  That becomes a problem when being one thing means everything else is wrong, e.g.
I breastfed my children, therefore every bottle feeder is wrong.  I recycle, so everybody in my neighborhood who doesn't put out the green bin is bad.  My dogs trump your cats.  People with trucks and SUVs are gas-hogging and selfish.  You get the picture.


I have to be able to find my place and feel at home with myself.  Humans are naturally social creatures, so I need other people around me who I feel safe with.  I'm going to make some judgments about who is "my kind" and who is "safe".  But transferring that level of identity to the entire world is not valid. This is where the long, broad view comes in. 


Just because I don't identify with gun-lovers, doesn't mean they shouldn't be alive. My personal preference to hang out with women doesn't mean men are bad. I can't have coffee with either Barack Obama or Michelle Bachman, but I will acknowledge our common humanity, the same humanity I share with children in Zimbabwe, parents in China, teachers in Sweden and maybe even the Koch brothers and Scott Walker.   


See what happens when you're retired and hang around the dog park?