Travel, they say, is broadening

There is something to be said for getting out of my normal environment.  Without the familiar touchstones, the mind is looser, rubbery, curious.  Predictability takes a holiday; sometimes I get lost.


I've been in Denver on a combined vacation and errand of mercy.  It is always a treat to see my DD (darling daughter), no matter the circumstances.  Right now, it seemed like a good time to don my mommy hat and see for myself how she was doing while suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.  She's fine.  Of course.


Since she's gainfully employed, I had a lot of time on my hands.  I'm simultaneously attracted and repelled by urban living, and she's in the middle of the city.  I love being able to walk to coffee shops, restaurants, parks, etc.  I walked every day. Even though I live in the city of Raleigh, it feels more like the burbs.  It's a newish subdivision, not very walkable, no place to walk to. 


I love the old neighborhoods in Denver, with interesting architectural fillips to look up in The Field Guide to American Houses every time I returned to the apartment.  We pored over the book together, then found examples on the streets as we drove or walked around.  It's fun to share a love of history and place with her.


That was the broadening part; I come away from this vacation with new ideas and information.  But there's a subtext to this trip, as well.  I needed to confirm that my job is done, which is a bittersweet realization.  I'll always be the mother of my children.  I knew them from before they were born.  I stuck to my guns and put my fingers in my ears when well-meaning but woefully uninformed people tried to tell me all the things I was doing wrong while I raised them.  


She's the younger, and though it's been 11 years since she launched, the college and post-college years are a gradual flowering.  I found that this is the first time I KNOW that she is a grown up woman, competent and well able to handle whatever life brings to her.  Nobody gets a free pass in life.  We all have bumps and curve balls and sometimes the obstacles feel overwhelming.  That's why we seek out friends, partners, mentors, and yes, parents sometimes, to help us get through the tough times.


It is most satisfying to know that even though my kids will have to face life's slings and arrows, they have what it takes to do so.  When they're little, you want to protect them and really, that's a parent's job.  But the counterbalance to that is encouraging them to walk through adversity as effectively as possible, relying on inner and outer resources.


So my job here is done.  Now for the fun!  I adore my grown-up kids.  If I were not related to them, I would wish I was.  They're smart, funny, compassionate, thoughtful, and committed to life.  Whatever hand I played in that, I'm thankful for the chance I had to do it.


They've both chosen to live in beautiful places that are great to visit.  And then .... home again to my own life, my own wife, and the present moment we live in now.  Gratitude.