What came first, the past or the future?

The news broke a couple of days ago that aerial images show evidence that a 1400 year old Christian monastery has been destroyed in Iraq. As with earlier destruction of antiquities, I read it with sorrow and a personal sense of loss. I'm not a Christian, I'm not a scholar of the ancient world, nor am I an archaeologist. But when singular objects or sites are lost, it feels similar to a species going extinct. It will never be there again, and that troubles me.

There will probably be consternation and outrage in some quarters over this from people who take it as an affront to their religion or culture. As for me, it has made me pause and bring it home. It's representative of my growing sense of impermanence.

 Andrew being a kid

Remember when you were a kid and summer vacation was a million miles away and the thought of being in high school was like some movie that you'd never star in? It was hard to project very far ahead, and even harder to imagine what the future would look like in 20 years. On this end of the spectrum, it's not hard at all to project ---- I probably do too much of it ---- but it's still hard to picture what the future will look like. One thing is certain, though. It won't be the same as today.

I like old stuff and always have. I did want to be an archaeologist when I was young, at least until I realized that it involved heat, dirt, and worst of all, bugs. But concrete articles from bygone eras fascinate me, whether it's clothing, implements, furniture, or buildings. I'm intrigued by how people lived and how we are connected to what came before.

I'm not as much interested in the future; it seems shadowy and confusing to think about. It makes my brain tired. That's not a value judgment. It's more like an orientation.

When I hear of destruction like that in Palmyra or Iraq, my first feeling is horror. But it has been happening forever and is part of the process of life. Destruction and creation go hand in hand. My idea of what should be preserved, and even venerated, doesn't necessarily fit with other people's. If every building from the 1850s in Manhattan still stood, New York would not be the city it is today. There is inherent tension between the old and the new and it is never resolved.

I have often mentioned that our house is filled with several generations worth of "stuff" --- photos, documents, paintings, books, furniture, all passed through the family for as many as five generations.

I know full well that I'm not the only 60-something person who has become the repository of the family heirlooms. What will beome of that collection?

When a building revered by one tribe or religion is destroyed by another, can we be surprised? What is valuable to one group represents idolatry to another. Similarly, what is valued in a family heirloom is the meaning brought to it by association. It is not to be expected that others, separated by time or distance, would hold that same veneration. They might view it as old junk to be removed to make way for something new. And maybe they would be right. But not while I'm around.

Old houses. Neglected churches. Deserted schools. Empty rocking chairs. All were filled with life once, alive with the voices of people long gone. Those are the whispers that haunt me.

Buxton, Iowa

I Just Can't Believe It!

Since I spend way too much time online these days, I'm exposed to ideas, beliefs, and conspiracy theories that I never would encounter anyplace else. It's nearly enough to make me put the computer away, but then I'd have to do something constructive and that sounds way too tiring. I've been building a mental list of things that strike me as I poke around. See if it sounds familiar.

There are lots of words being spilled over the rampant fear that's charging over the land --- everything is scary. Terrorists. Guns. Opiates. Vaccines. Textbooks. Drug-resistant Disease. People of all kinds, colors, and nationalities: religious fanatics, invasive immigrants, big government, lying politicians, giant corporations, and on and on and on.

I wonder what people scared themselves with before the rise of mass communication. Death, of course, is the bottom line. There was a time, not so long ago, when infectious diseases were the the big fear. Anybody, anytime, could be struck down. You only have to walk around an old cemetery to begin to understand the precariousness of life just two generations ago. It's still like that in many parts of the world.

Right now, we live in a country with amazing public health measures in place. Instead of open sewers in the middle of the street, we have waste treatment plants. The water in our sinks, for most people (sorry, Flint Michigan) is safe; you're not risking typhoid every time you get a drink. Yet, millions of people don't trust the water and buy bottled water in plastic containers. Not based on warnings or having been sickened by it, just because....something.

Food supply. Yes, there are plenty of glitches, and problems do arise. Food poisoning, mainly from not following proper storage guidelines, is not uncommon. But we have nearly 330,000,000 people in this country and the vast majority of them eat well and safely, every single day. That's remarkable. And still there are entire corners of the internet scaring people witless about how poisonous their food is. 

Crime! Guns! Crazy Criminals! It's almost too frightening to leave the house. To be absolutely safe, you can fortify your home with security systems, never let children out of sight, stay home and watch tv instead of going out in public places. You can even arrange to have almost everything you need delivered to your house. Just don't open the door when the delivery truck pulls up --- it could be a ruse.

Was it always this scary? I remember panics from years ago --- polio, communists, child snatchers --- so maybe it's just selective memory that makes it seem worse now. The thing is, living as though on the brink of disaster is no way to find happiness or satisfaction. So I just don't believe it.

I don't believe we're all headed to hell in a handbasket.

I don't believe everyone in any particular political party is terrible and out to ruin the country.

I don't believe any particular religion spells doom for the entire world. 

I don't believe Big Business is scheming to create products and an economy which will leave everyone but the most elite to die in the streets.

I do believe that change is hard and sometimes frightening, and we are in a time of dizzying change.

People still have babies. Sometimes that surprises me, since mine were born so long ago. People still invent things --- amazing things --- that will help humankind. People still love each other, work together, laugh, show kindness for no reason other than kindness itself. 

It's not all bad and scary. Yup, we're all going to die. It doesn't matter how much you pray to your favorite deity, it's still going to happen. It also doesn't matter how many times you go to the gym, how many ice cream sundaes you forego, whether you ever finish stitching that quilt or writing that book. It's still going to happen, and you can't stop it. 

So if that's the scariest thing in the playbook, and it's inevitable, lighten up! It's just not that serious. Do what you like, love the people around you, and don't take yourself so seriously. Remember that graveyard with all the kids we talked about earlier? Destination vacation. You really can't take it with you --- there's just not room.

Every day is a new one, brand spanking new, and I, for one, don't believe it's all that bad.